Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) treats anger like all other emotional disorders. First ,we help the client figure out the trigger event or activity is that starts the ball rolling Next we examine the connection between what they tell themselves to become angry. Then, we discuss whether the angry feeling and related behavior is something they want to keep or change. If they want to “work” on changing, I explain some of the skills that will be taught to help them change how they think. Feel and behave.
One client of mine would frequently get upset when dining out if he was kept waiting to be seated or if a waiter would not attend to his request quickly enough. He would tend to get loud and demanding and this would often contribute to others being uncomfortable around him. He was barred from some establishments and a number of friends would no longer dine out with him. His negative beliefs centered around feeling entitlement and rigid ideas about how people in the service industry must act. His impatience was characterized by an attitude of “I want what I want when I want it and you SHOULD or MUST treat me the way I feel I deserve to be treated.” When the should or must is applied to others, it usually leads to the excessive anger towards them. When the should or must is applied to oneself, it results in self blame and even self hatred.
Once my client agreed that he didn’t want to feel as angry as he does and wanted to change his behavior, I helped him to better accept some frustration and be less bothered when others don’t live up to his standards. We helped him to consider other reasons why he might not be getting the kind of service he wanted, and what more “appropriate” options he could use to handle the situation. We then practiced through both “imagery” and “role playing” better ways to think and behave. He was also also taught skills to increase his self – awareness of when his anger is emerging so he could use skills like deep breathing and coping self talk to calm down and/or taking a time out by going to the bathroom or outside to “chill”.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy for anger management can be taught to children, adolescent, adults and seniors. Progress typically occurs over a period of months rather than years , in part, because it places a strong emphasis of giving homework and other practice exercises to reinforce healthy habits.
For more information, check out www.cognitivebehaviortherapyfl.com. If you are considering treatment for yourself or others, contact Dr. Robert Heller at drrobertheller@gmail.com, or call/text 561 251-9768.
